hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
