You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
