hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
