Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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