I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
