4 words: hood of his car
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
