My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
