At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
