After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
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He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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