No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
