He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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