is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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