yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We smell like vodka and hangover
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