i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
