If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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