I need help removing her.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
