they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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