I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
