3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
