we're blogging at a bar
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
