I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
