i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
