You work out of a Hotel?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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