absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Randomize
