Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
operation have a gay friend backfired
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize