I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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