I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
