I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
