he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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