she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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