i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
