I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize