doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
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nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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