It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
