She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
