sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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