I skipped work to stalk him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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