dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
