he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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