my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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