Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
then he tried to convert me to islam
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
