I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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