So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
