dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
