you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
