There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
