Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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