is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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