Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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