Little spoons don't ask big questions
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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