I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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