Your face is a jimmy john
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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