This is not my ceiling
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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