Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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