I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
