walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
