check it out our google latitudes are spooning
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
