HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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