i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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