We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
