Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
